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A Rant and A Thank You

Stress; it’s something we all feel at some stage in our lives and it often hits when you least need it to. It is also how I am feeling as I am writing this post.

I had planned for a beauty post to go up today but I definitely bit off more than I could chew when I decided it would be a good idea to post every Monday to Friday. Even though my weeks are spent at home for the most part, I am just still far too busy to get a blog post posted every day. I have been sitting here for the past hour staring at a blank screen waiting for the inspiration to come but the will to write about beauty just isn’t there right now, however, being open about what I am feeling might just help the inspiration return.

Do you ever hear your absolute favourite song after not hearing it for a while and just get that euphoric feeling that you never want to lose? That’s the feeling I get when I am blogging. It’s a major passion of mine and something I would like to really make a success of. However, just like if you listen to your that amazing song on repeat after hearing it again, you eventually lose that ecstatic feeling if you keep playing the same song over and over again or, in this case, if you try to write too much. It eventually becomes a task rather than something you really want to do and that has been my problem today. I had a million things I meant to do but nothing got done which made me feel listless.

Other than that, I really miss a friend whose friendship I lost recently. Although new friendships have taken the place of this one, there are moments where I really want to speak to that friend and no one else. There’s always that one person who creeps back into your mind at some point no matter how long it has been since you last thought of them.

I must say, I do have an amazing support system. My current friends are amazing. They don’t only support my blog but they also support me emotionally and inspire me on a regular basis. Friendships are so inconstant at times. People come and go but then there are the really special ones which you need to hang onto for dear life. As you are reading this, I will likely be on the beach with four of my favourite people. I have been so blessed to get to know those four lovely ladies as well as the other friends I have made over the past while. They have kept me stable when I thought I would surely tumble.

The kind of friends I have… Words cannot describe how amazing they are. I am sure everyone thinks their friends are incomparable but mine take amazing to a whole new level. I found out that I didn’t get into the university I wanted to in November of last year right after I had finished one of the most gruelling maths exams imaginable. I had to force myself not to cry at school because it felt like everything was falling apart. When I got home I messaged one of my very close friends to tell her and it wasn’t even a minute after I had sent the message that she phoned me. Needless to say I was in tears over the phone but she spent ages of her time telling me how everything will be okay and she reassured me that there are other options. As if that doesn’t speak volumes to  the brilliance of my friends, they kept checking up on me even in between their hectic university schedules to make sure I knew when applications reopened and they have just been making an immense effort to stay in contact with me even though they have almost no time to themselves. I have the kind of friends who will write handwritten notes to me and send photos of them to me on WhatsApp if I am feeling down rather than just sending a generic text message and I have the kind of friends who will give me ideas when I have no idea what to write about next.

I am incredibly grateful to them as well as to all my blog buddies for all your support even though I disappeared for five months. I honestly came back here thinking that everyone who followed me and supported me initially wouldn’t be there in the same sense since I didn’t support them for five months. You form a special kind of bond with the people who follow you and support your blog and like any other friendship, it’s give and take. I am so grateful that you stood by me even though I wasn’t able to contribute anything to the friendship while I was away. Your support means the world to me. As for my lovely new followers, thank you! I appreciate that you saw something in my little corner of the internet that compelled you to press follow. I look forward to getting to know you a bit better.

I do apologise for my rant. Sometimes it just helps to be open and I honestly already feel better. I am going to enjoy a chilly autumn day at the beach today and know that you are all in my heart too, as cheesy as that sounds. I will get back to reading your posts and interacting with you tomorrow at the latest.

I am sending huge hugs your way right now so, in the words of a good friend of mine, “feel hugged”.

With love,